Knowledge Is Wisdom

Self-Love

There is so much pain and grief in personal life because people are not able to say “no”. You need to know your worth to be able to say “no”. When someone offers you a job you don’t really want, just say “no”, if you agree to do something you’re not excited about, you will be leading yourself to distress. Don’t let anybody talk you into doing something against your own will, that would be acting without love for yourself.

When you have self-love, you know you are infinite possibility, have great potential and do not let anybody diminish you. It simply can’t be done. Self-love is such a powerful tool - when you use it as a decision making criterion, you will never go wrong. In fact, loving another comes from being able to love yourself. And from loving yourself comes assertiveness. It’s easy to say “no” to a job you would hate or to a toxic person or anything that is bad for you, when you have self-love.

Love is such an incredible concept, feeling, emotion, you name it - but if your jar is not full, if you don’t fill yourself with love, there is nothing to give to others. So next time somebody is offering you something detrimental, be it a relationship, job, food, drink, situation, think “self-love”. When you say “no”, don’t feel sorry for disappointing them, be loving and be absolutely certain that your decision is right. Self-love is such a great guide to doing the right thing.

Self confidence

Do you want to know how to feel more confident in social situations? If you’re like many people, the answer is yes. All too many suffer from low self-confidence, especially when around others. Fortunately, nobody is doomed to a lack of self-confidence for life, and there are many steps you can take to feel better about yourself and more comfortable when socialising. Try following these five simple tips to begin with:

1. Remember That People Are More Interested In Themselves

Someone who is not very confident often imagines that everyone they meet is judging them harshly. In fact, the reality is that most people you meet aren’t really very interested in you at all, and are almost certainly not aware of all the flaws that you think are so glaringly obvious.

Rather, people are basically self-centered, and are more interested in themselves than they are in you. So next time you find yourself worrying about what others are thinking of you, remember that they’re probably not thinking about you at all. Chances are they’re more worried about what you’re thinking of them!

2. Dress The Part

Most of us feel better about ourselves when we look our best. This doesn’t mean spending a fortune on designer outfits or sessions at the spa, but simply paying attention to grooming, eating well and exercising regularly to stay in shape, and wearing clothes that are comfortable, flattering and appropriate to the occasion.

3. Check Your Posture

The way you carry yourself sends a message to others about how you’re feeling. Typically, people who aren’t feeling confident tend to keep their heads down with their eyes on the ground, and they also slouch their shoulders and cross their arms in a typically defensive posture. This sends a clear message to others to keep away, and won’t do you any favors in social situations.

Instead, make a deliberate effort to hold your head high, straighten your shoulders and look others in the eye when you’re talking to them. Not only will standing tall create the illusion of confidence and cause others to react more favourably, it’ll actually help you feel better too, as our state of mind is closely linked with the way we use our bodies.

4. Shut Up And Listen

A lot of people lack self-confidence because small talk and chitchat doesn’t come easily to them. Fortunately, you don’t have to be a dazzling raconteur to do well in social situations. You’ll find that many of the people you meet enjoy talking about themselves, and all you really need to do is to ask some polite questions and let them rattle away.

Show a genuine interest in the people around you, and they’ll come away from the encounter with a positive impression of your conversational skills - even though they were the ones doing most of the talking!

5. Use Visualisation

True self-confidence comes from within, and the main reason why many people lack it is because they have negative beliefs about themselves which often date back to childhood. The best way to change these beliefs is to replace them with more empowering alternatives, and visualisation is an excellent method of doing this.

To visualise effectively, take some time each day to settle down in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, and practice seeing yourself feeling and acting as the confident person you want to be. Over time, you’ll gradually reprogram your beliefs, and your subconscious mind will come to accept your new self image.

Some people find it difficult to relax enough for their visualisation to really take root. This is unsurprising, as most of us aren’t used to really focusing on quieting the mind. Fortunately, using a brainwave entrainment recording can really help here, as these recordings contain sounds of specific frequencies which are designed to help your brain relax deeply, increasing your access to the subconscious.

Confidence

Growing up, I liked playing a lot of sports, especially hockey, soccer and football. But one sport I really hated to play was baseball. It wasn’t because I thought it was a boring sport (well, actually I do, but that’s besides the point). Instead, it was simply because I was terrible at it. No matter how many times I tried or how much I’d practice, I just wasn’t good at hitting that baseball. Naturally, I’d tell my gym teacher when we had to play baseball that it wasn’t my best sport, to which I’d invariably be told that this would be an opportunity to improve my game, to build on this weakness of mine.

Of course, this wasn’t the last time I was asked to address my weaknesses. At job interviews, I was asked not only about my strengths, but also my weaknesses and more importantly, what measures I was taking to overcome them. In my employee performance reviews, it felt at times like it was almost a requirement that some weak point be found and pointed out as something I would need to work on before the next review. On the surface, all of these experiences made sense because we are taught to believe that the way to succeed is by overcoming those tasks or abilities that we struggle to perform.

And yet, if we look at people who do succeed, a completely different viewpoint becomes apparent. Pablo Picasso was a talented painter and sculptor, but he was bad at math and apparently didn’t even learn the alphabet correctly. Usain Bolt, the three-time Olympic gold medalist who last month set a pair of new world records in the 100m and 200m dash, is clearly the best sprinter in the world. On the other hand, Bolt is not as good a cricket player, the sport he started his athletic career in. Steve Jobs, one of the founders of Apple Inc., has been credited with Apple’s many successes over the last few years. But before this, Jobs dropped out of college after six months because he lost interest in what he was learning. Each of them are considered to be not only successes in their respective fields, but also examples of what many of us would certainly love to accomplish on the scale they did.

Now if we look at each of their stories, we can see in all of them a common thread being exhibited. In each one, we see people who are not concerned with improving their weak spots. Instead, they focused on building on their strengths. Picasso knew he wasn’t good at math, or even knowing the alphabet. But instead of trying to push himself to improve his understanding of these two fields of knowledge, he focused his energies on where his talent lay - in painting and sculpting works of art. Usain Bolt didn’t work harder to become a better batsman or bowler for his cricket team; rather, he focused his training on building upon his ability to sprint fast over short distances. Likewise, Steve Jobs didn’t opt to ‘tough it out’ to complete college and get his degree, choosing instead to take a calligraphy class which he gives credit to for playing a key role in the designing of the first Mac computer.

For Picasso, Bolt, and Jobs, it was never about working on their weaknesses as it was challenging themselves to improve on their strengths. What’s also apparent in each of these examples is that they were doing what they love, in large part because they pursued areas where they knew they could accomplish the most; where they could best contribute to the greater whole. This also made whatever challenges they faced easier to take on because, despite the hardships they had to endure, they were doing the work they loved and excelled at.

In this light, it becomes clear that if we really want to be successful, our focus shouldn’t be on trying to improve those areas we typically define as our weaknesses, as this only serves to take away our energy, time and effort from pursuing what should be our real goals. In his commencement address delivered at Stanford University, Steve Jobs pointed out that we should have “the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become”. He reminds us that our life is a relatively short one and that we shouldn’t “waste it living someone else’s life”. Picasso, Bolt, and Jobs are a testament to this idea, with each of them creating lives based on the strengths they possess within them. As for the rest of us, the best place to start a similar journey is to look to our own strengths, to that which will undoubtedly lead us to a greater sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and happiness in our lives.

Courage

Remember when we were kids and nothing was impossible to imagine or to do? We dreamed of being a doctor, fireman, police officer. What was your “not-so-impossible-dream?” Is it still here with you?

Now that we are all grown up and life is no longer as simplistic as we used to see from a child’s eyes, have you abandoned those dreams you had? Have you been scared by the so-called “realities of life”?

Did you know that you can create your own reality and live the life you have always wanted…instead of the life someone else has planned for you? Being all grown up does not mean you have to throw up your hands in defeat and give up whatever dreams you had.

All it really takes is a simple act of courage to get your dreams back on track…to start dreaming again like you used to when you were a happy, no-care-in the-world-kid. What happened to those times?

Are you right now too afraid to look into that home business dream you always wanted to make a reality? Do you have those voices that are telling you that your dream is impossible? Are you listening to those voices?

You can drown out those negative voice with a simple act of courage. If you do that, those voice will simply cower in the face of the “you-can-do-it-voice”. That positive, courageous voice that reminds you of your childhood dreams that made you feel alive and rambunctious!

When you begin to feel that you cannot do it, just remember the simple act of courage of one brave woman in America history. A woman who refused to give up a seat that she was sitting in, because she was exhausted,after a hard day’s work. She was asked to give up her seat because they told her she did not deserve to be in that seat. She refused. This simple act of courage put the Civil Rights Movement in full gear.

That woman was Ms. Rosa Parks. Because of her simple act of courage, America is better for it today. What is your simple act of courage? Finishing that book you started? Or is it finally doing that video you have been putting off? How about finally starting that home business you have been investigating?

Whatever it may be for you, all you really need to make it happen and have it become a reality…is JUST A SIMPLE ACT OF COURAGE. Just like Rosa Parks.

Positivity

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” — Emile Coue

I have had a few clients lately who have been doing the whole “I’m not good enough” thing. So I thought in this article I would explore the notion of getting it right, and the addiction a lot of people have to attaining perfection.

My mentor once said to me that people who are perfectionists are actually saying they have no standards. Now, this can be interpreted in many ways, but I took it to mean perfection cannot exist. It is based on a belief that something cannot be improved or made better. Now we know logically that this is not true. Anything and everything can always be better. So rather than seeking perfection I ask that my team and my clients strive for CANI - Constant And Never-ending Improvement. This means we never arrive, we never reach a standard we are happy to settle for, and we never sit in mediocrity.

Now I love doing this in my business. In business there are KPI’s (Key Performance Indicators) and measurable outcomes and real data. But how do you do it with your riding?

The first thing is KNOWING and LOVING you are the best rider you can be today, doing your best with the knowledge and resources available to you at the present moment, and tomorrow you will be better. If you KNEW how to do better you would. You understand that don’t you? I don’t think you have ever ridden your horse thinking “oh I know how to do this but I am consciously choosing to do it the wrong way, and therefore getting the wrong result on purpose”. So sometimes we ride well, and sometimes we ride not so well. I always say when the horse goes well - gee, I’m riding well today, and when he goes not so well - I say gee Tash your riding is very interesting today! What about when I have a bad test or a bad ride? Well, firstly I don’t label it as such. It’s interesting, or it’s a tremendous learning opportunity or a marvelous chance to grow and become better. And it’s exciting! We only learn, grow and develop from less than ideal situations! When we have a sensational ride we enjoy it but we don’t learn as much as when it all falls apart. So it’s not a time to be sad, it’s a time to become EXCITED about it! Another mentor says “quality problems have quality results”. You want high quality problems so that you can grow and learn, and overcome the challenge to get an even better high quality result.

So to recap:

1. You are the best rider you can be today. You are doing the best you can with the knowledge and resources available to you at the present moment. If you knew how to do better, you would. And the best part - tomorrow you will be better.
2. Get excited about your problems - they are not problems, they are challenges, opportunities to grow, a chance to develop into your full potential. How can you not get excited about that!!!

So, if you are doing your best with what you have in the present moment, and you are excited about your opportunities to develop, how can you be anything but pumped, excited and thrilled to be out there riding every day?!?! Why would you, or how could you even have time for, be bothered with, or entertain the notion of “I’m not good enough yet”?

I’m sure none of you have but you know of someone that does. Not you of course! J But others that have used the excuses:

“I don’t know enough”

“I can’t do it”

“I can’t understand it”

“I shouldn’t”

“I can’t do that level yet”

“I’ll never be good enough for that/at that”

Now with all those excuses all I can say is “YES”! But add the words - right now but I will.

“I don’t know enough right now, but I will”

“I can’t do it right now, but I will”

“I can’t understand it right now, but I will”

“I shouldn’t do that right now, but I will”

“I can’t do that level right now, but I will”

Be ok with the rider you are TODAY! Be ok with the progress you have already made TODAY, be accepting, tolerant and nice to you TODAY! I’m not saying don’t strive, work, demand for more! You definitely should! I push for more than I can even conceive from myself, my clients and my team every day. But I am also accepting of “my limit for TODAY is…”!! A fabulous quote is “yesterday’s efforts will get you yesterdays results” if you want more results you need to put in more effort. This is where CANI fits in perfectly. Do your best today. And tomorrow make it better, and continue and continue and continue forever! Constant and Never-ending Improvement.

Now a lot of people hear that and say oh my god Tash, isn’t that exhausting? You never can stop, you never can relax. I laugh! Why would I want to stop? Why would I want to relax in my business and stop giving amazing value and experience to my clients? Why would I want to relax on my horse and get the same mediocre scores for the rest of my competition career? Relaxing is for the beach! It’s not for everyday life! Mediocrity is exhausting. Settling for average is tiring. CANI is invigorating, exciting and means my life is constantly different and challenged. If you are not growing you are dying. So I choose to grow. What do you choose?

About the Author

Natasha Althoff-Kelley
http://yourridingsuccess.com
Visit my website for your free 7 Keys to Your Riding Success

Empowerment

Recently on a segment of Oprah, I saw two people sharing their shame of going out in public due to their appearance. I’d heard this plaguing experience from a few women I know as well. It seems that image can be something to boast about or be ashamed of, rather than something to be empowered by.

So often the image one portrays or will try to portray is one that they’ve been taught from society. It seems as if every photo has been airbrushed or redone to perfection. Models appear thin and flawless.

Most people relate to image as merely the clothes they wear, type of car they drive or home they live in.

But image has a deeper meaning than that. From a much more powerful place, image is about being true to who you are and projecting your authentic self outwardly to the world.

When you experience a sense of authentic truth within and project it simultaneously, you are far more fulfilled and confident in your own skin and all of life.

I believe if confidence is lacking there are a few critical areas missing in life.

Let’s take a look at the four keys to being empowered by your image.

The First Key - Know Your Vision and Purpose.

Truly know who you are prior to choosing the clothes to wear. It is imperative that you do the work of identifying your “why”. The “why” acts as a driver of your actions and when “purpose” drives your actions, you’re far more fulfilled in life.

The Second Key -Accept The Image Of Yourself.

Accepting yourself is a major component in empowering your image. Many women and, believe it or not, men have challenges accepting themselves as they are. The key is knowing that the body you have right now in this moment is the body you have right now. Not the one you want in the future or the one you’ve had in the past, but the one you have right now. So accept the image, the body and fullness of who you are right now.

Acceptance means that you love, honor, accept, appreciate and celebrate the fullness of your body and your image. You can certainly have a body that you want and aspire to have, however full acceptance of right now is required.

The Third Key - Know What Expresses You and Know Your Style.

Once you’re grounded in your vision and purpose, then you’re ready to assess what truly expresses you from an outward standpoint. For those who love shopping, you have permission to go on a joy ride of finding the style of clothing that expresses who you are. For example, if what fully expresses you is a more classic look, then you’ll begin your search for clothing in that style. If it’s sexy, sporty or elegant, the same applies. And for men classic, sporty or trendy may be the style. Whichever it is, the key once again is the place from which you choose your style. In this case, your vision and purpose - your “why”.

The Fourth Key - Create An Environment Consistent With Your Vision and Your Style.

So you’ve got your vision, your style is right for you, you’ve accepted your body. Now you’re ready to create an environment consistent with YOUR image.

The environment is your surroundings; spaces you frequently occupy like your home, office and car. These are all a reflection of you, so the images you create of these spaces are just as critical.

Simply take inventory of the space and make small changes to represent your style and your image. For example, if your style is elegant, you may redecorate your home to be reflective of that style. However, if you’re on a limited budget you can slowly buy a few pieces of elegant artwork to add to your office or home.

You don’t have to do it all at once, so take this opportunity to make small changes. The idea is to “create” your environment like an artist with a new canvas. Give yourself freedom to have your creation unfold naturally and freely.

These four keys will empower and inspire you to be more of who you are inwardly and outwardly. It’s an amazing feeling when all of who you are is reflected within you and around you.

Remember when “purpose” drives your actions; you’re far more fulfilled in life. You feel better, you look better and live better…

About The Author

To view Lisa Thomas being interviewed on this topic, visit: http://www.p3powerboost.com/articles/the-4-keys-to-being-empowered-by-your-image/

Empowerment

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching for Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide. She is a Vision and Leadership Support Coach, Visionary for Women, Life Coach for NBC’s My Carolina Today and Inspirational Speaker.

Contact her directly for your P3 Power Session where you will begin the journey of discovery. It will be the best 60 minutes of your life. Remember, power, purpose and vision begins within the spirit of who you are.

For a power session, media inquiries or speaking engagements, contact http://www.theP3Group.com

Action

In this day and age of social media, e-zines and enough self-help books to absorb the oil spill, it becomes incredibly easy to get tied up in reading about the life you want instead of LIVING IT. Of course, there is a great deal of knowledge to be gained by such experts and stories but at some point one has to TAKE ACTION!

If you don’t know where to start, that’s OK. The most difficult part in doing anything is usually just getting it off the ground. I have always found that once I put the intention out there that I am going to do or create “something”, I then start attracting the right people and things to make it happen. To this day, this constantly amazes me! Trust me, there are still plenty of days I find myself spinning around the office with no clue as to what to do next or how I am going to get there. It is just as easy for me to get encapsulated in the reading and research. It is during those moments that I take time to re-focus and examine my plan.

A plan for me is simply a rough map of where I am going, what I want to accomplish and how I plan to do it. Like most maps, it does not include the major traffic jams, potholes and detours…but it does keep me focused on where I am going. Any destination without a map is a whole lot harder to get to. It is so important not to lose site of where it is you are heading. However, at some point you have to put down the map and drive. (I know enough metaphors)

So put down the books, log-off your computer and start LIVING the life you want!

Thoughts + Action = RESULTS!

Shine ON!

Yellow Rose

1. Disappointment with God
So many have a wrong understanding of God`s plan for us and we therefore become disappointed as a result. Their prayer life is full of unanswered requests and they fail to appreciate the wider aspect of this discipline, which is primarily about a relationship with Him. This involves both talking and listening and developing an intimate engagement with God through time spent with Him. The spark can be lost as frustration sets in, because our needs are not met. We see God as someone who should be providing all the time, instead of someone we can love and enjoy.

2. Upset in the Church
The church is meant to be a living expression of who God is and a place of support, blessing and growth. This is very often far from our experience as we battle with each other for position, value and recognition. We feel let down by leaders and others in the church who promise so much and deliver so little. Sometimes what we read in the Bible is such a contrast to what we see in the lives of those who share our faith. The can be spark lost as we struggle with feelings of being hurt, which often results in leaving the church and going it alone.

3. Testings, Trials and Tragedy
The difficulties we face in life cause much pain and unhappiness as we juggle with issues that challenge our faith. We want to be comfortable and major on the truths of joy, peace, fulfillment and completeness in Christ. We are bombarded with success driven literature and are taught to be inspired by those who are successful. Whilst none of these paths are wrong in themselves, we have got to embrace the other side of suffering and hardship. God uses these to shape our personality and the Bible is full of accounts of those who were heroes of the faith through much tribulation and thus entered the Kingdom of God. Our spark can be lost because we are looking through the wrong pair of glasses.

4. Lack of Spiritual Maintenance
Any machine, house or animal needs looking after if it is to function properly and perform to the best of it`s capabilities. Our lives are no different. It is amazing how many think they can run on empty and have a close encounter with their creator when little effort has been made. The Sunday service continues to be the highlight of the week and the main provision for our journey. A spiritual MOT is needed to find out what needs strengthening, repairing or replacing. The spark is lost when there`s nothing in the engine to feed the system, resulting in our lives grinding to a halt.

5. Influence of Unhealthy Factors
We are called as disciples to rub shoulders with many types of people and get involved with varied situations which may even be contrary to our beliefs. We can choose to stand alone and be isolated or infiltrate as we saw Jesus doing in weddings and funerals. The pressures to conform are enormous and it is a constant battle to get the balance correct. Some do, but others find themselves overwhelmed by the attraction, the lure and the excitement of the forbidden fruit. Our spark can be lost as these factors cover over our lives and starve us of air.

A great way of reviving that spark is to allow a fellow Christian to encourage and challenge you.